Managing my weight during lockdown, AKA dodging the COVID 15

Even though coping through COVID-19 lockdown has turned me into more of a cook, it hasn’t made me more of an eater. Although I am have struggled with weight gain for all of my life, right now, I weigh just 5 pounds more than I did in November 2019. For me, not gaining weight during such a stressful time is a shift.

How did this happen?

My whole life, I’ve been stocky. Both my siblings are thin, of average height, but I am the short, curvy one. At 5 feet tall, I am as hour-glassed and wide-hipped as my busty Polish grandma, Anna — I have her body, exactly. In my teen and 20s, I was 10–15 pounds overweight, which I didn’t really care about. By then, as I got older, I gained. In my 50’s, I weighed 30 pounds than I did at 30. As I moved into my 60s, I gained more weight. By 2019, I weighed almost 70 pounds more than I did at 30. When I hit my highest-ever weight, in May 2019, I realized that while I was not sick, I was also not well — and that these extra pounds were a liability.

At 207 pounds, I saw a medical future that scared me. I had developed high blood pressure and gone on an ACE inhibitor that gave me a hacking cough. I wasn’t diabetic — yet — but was scared I would become so (Grandma Anna was.) It seemed arrogant to think that, with my high weight, I’d escape diabetes, POCS, bad knees, hips, and back, and all the other health problems that morbid obesity can trigger. As someone who had been proud I took no prescription meds and had no chronic conditions, it felt like things were now moving in the wrong direction. I decided I had to lose weight and bring my blood pressure down.

In August 2019, I found what seemed like a radical but realistic solution and joined a 52-week Kaiser healthy weight management program. It wasn’t cheap, but it wasn’t exorbitant — and seemed a lot better than later paying big medical bills. I also liked that it was about re-training yourself around food, not dieting. For the first 17 weeks, I’d be under medical supervision and on a 900-calorie pre-prepared mostly liquid diet (a “food vacation” and reset), then I’d have another 24 weeks of behavior modification and learning how to manage food. After that, there were free peer support groups for, well, forever.

The program was life-changing. At the end of the first stage, when we restarted with real food, I’d lost 35 pounds and my blood pressure had returned to normal. The high-grade scale said I could lose another 20 pounds, but my doctor said if I could stay at this weight, I’d do well, so that has been my goal, for now.

Four months after I returned to eating food, the pandemic happened. For me, cooking and prepping food for my family — -and sharing it with neighbors — became a calming activity. Like many of us, I stocked up on lentils, rice, and beans, joined a local CSA, and focused on a more plant-centered diet. I was terrified of catching COVID-19, being put on a ventilator, and dying.

That was 12 months ago. Here we are, a year later, and with more people getting vaccinated, greater freedom is on the horizon. But why was I able to live through one of the most stressful years in my life, and not regain most of that weight?

First of all, it’s been a huge struggle. It would be easy for those regained 5 lbs to turn into 8 and 10 and 15 and maybe more if I didn’t pay attention. But I’ve learned that letting weight creep up and then having to lose it again is so much harder than trying not to regain it in the first place. Learning better accountability for myself means recognizing that I’m not able to make impulsive food choices because something I see looks good.

So if I decide I want extra calories, it’s a conscious choice I have to make. There is no more pretending to look the other way. It is all calories in, calories out.

I also have tools and tactics that help:

• Smaller portions, more often. During the program, we had 6 160-calorie meals a day. Now, on a regular day, I prefer to eat 4–5 meals that are more like 160–400 calories each than 3 big meals. (My fav is the snack at 3–5 PM, which could be fruit, a small piece of cheese, and crackers, or a 160 calorie, low-sugar energy bar.)
• Plant-based and whole-grain meals: Meat and dairy are higher fat, so I eat them sparingly. Salads and vegetable stews, along with seasonal fruits, keep me well-fed with fewer calories.
• Weighing myself and tracking exercise and food: I hate this one. Recording my food and exercise in an app every day — 520 days later — is something I am so tired of, but it makes a huge difference, Also, I can track things like the amount of fiber I am eating, or sugar, which helps me tweak my diet (hello, more salads!)
• Fear of dying: I cannot underestimate the importance of fear in my success. As a person with diet-controlled hypertension, over 60, medically obese(still), keeping my weight at a level when it doesn’t feel life-threatening is critical.
• Family and peer support: The Kaiser program provided an incredibly compassionate, caring community, all sharing one goal: to help people get to a healthy weight for their body. I’m still connected to that community through zoom calls and support groups, and it makes a difference.
• The recognition I can only eat for me: It’s been a hard lesson to recognize that I need to eat and drink differently than other people if I want to manage my weight. If I go along with what other people are having because I think I deserve it too, pounds will come back on. This means I need to be mindful and selective about the food and drink choices I make.
• Accept that exercise doesn’t drive weight loss, even though it’s essential.

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